i don't like sucking hair
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
