Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
