i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is the high leading the old right now
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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