Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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