You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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