Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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