Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
