hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
