I hope mine doesn't look like that
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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