the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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