I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
