last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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