wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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