We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
