found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need water and some morals
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize