I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
