is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
