I'm gonna have a badass scar
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
