Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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