Who did Billy Mays play for?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
