Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
