You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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