just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
