You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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