if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize