Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
