Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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