Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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