i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
