she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
