i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize