I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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