Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
