The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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