Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
These tits shall not be calmed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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