the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
