its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
