You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my being single is dangerous.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
