We need to rekindle our bromance
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
