I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
