Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
