i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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