Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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