you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize