Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
