Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
