Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
