Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's never too late to be topless.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
