the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
