i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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