There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
