What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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