Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just pee around me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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