im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
