i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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