You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
These tits shall not be calmed
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
