I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize