just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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