We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize