Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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