let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
