just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My breasts were aching with rage.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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