Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
