He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
