Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
