Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
