You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
