Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
