Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
