OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
