just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
