butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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