i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize