On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
