If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
