I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
