Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
