Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
there is glitter all over my balls
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