Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
