he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
